Friday, May 14, 2010

A Jumbled Mind...

So yesterday my sister had my nephew and he is too cute! I love hom so very much and I can't wait until he gets bigger so I can figure out who he looks like... Well to the point there is a lot of baby talk going around with everyone asking how my sisters labor went and how big he is and what he looks like... It's kind of depressing me... So I've been distanting myself because I can't listen to it...and who am I to ask my sister to stop talking about it or for others to stop asking question when everyone is excited?... I want to be able to just be here in body, and heart but only my body is here right now.... I'm making the best of it and trying to make myself involved it's a lot harder then I thought... I mean I came to Oklahoma with high hopes and excitement in my heart but it's just gone.... Well I have to go now becuse I'm taking my Tia tot he store but I'll be back... Please comment I would love the advice! God Bless!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Foot Steps

So I just remembered that poem about there only being one set of foot prints because God was carrying me.... I wonder why anything has to be so hard that I need to be carried in the first place....Does God test us? What does he want me to learn? I know what I have learned.... Life is given to some and taken from others.... I know I need not complain and I try not to but it is hard.... I thought I was over this but I guess not... If I'm not being carried God please come pick me up.... Carry me..

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

I want to first say I pray all mothers had a blessed day today! I honestly thought that today would be the worst day ever because my husband is in Iraq and I'm here with my sister and her growing family...But today was one of the most special Mother's Days I have ever had... Not because of all the Happy Mother's Day comments I got or any of that but because I was happy and not resentful of those mothers without angel babies. I was so thankful for everything else in my life like a wonderful husband, my unbelievably understanding sister and her family and my mother. I'd be an idiot to complain about such wonderful family and friends...Especially friends because unlike family they choose to be in my life and that's special! So I want to thank God for an amazing day and for putting it in my heart to not be selfish and to love life.... God Bless! Oh.... and my sister gave me purple roses today which filled my heart with more love then I could have ever imagined... Thank you Nikki...My Big Sister!