Sunday, August 8, 2010

1 Samuel 1:1-28; 2:1-11

So my husband has been back from Iraq for 2 weeks and 5 days and I thought well maybe it will just happen really fast you know?.....I guess I'm being a little irrational because I haven't given anything any time but I'm come to learn that when you want something really bad it seems like everyday is 1000 years..... My mom gave me the scripture 1 Samuel 1:1-28; 2:1-11 when I found my desires had yet again fallen short of reality. It's about Hannah and how she asked the Lord for a son... It was nice to know she got what she asked for but I don't understand one thing. I've always been told God will give you the desires of your heart, and on the other hand I've been told that God will is God's will and thins will happen according to what he wants not what we want. So if it's not his will for something to happen no matter if it's your desire or not it won't happen? I'm going to leave with this..... I love the Lord and I don't pray like I should and I have missed the passed 4 Sundays of church, but I love God and sometimes I just feel like my heart is in physical pain and God is saying you're not doing what you need to be doing but even when I do I feel I come up short. But I have to put a smile on my face and tell myself that's not true because I have so much.... I just want what everyone else wants....To be happy, have a family, and live a long time......

2 comments:

christina marcum said...

Hey sister
I haven't heard from you in awhile just wanted to let you know that I got my Rememberance tattoo for my 3 lost babies I will post a picture of it to face book once it's healed It's says Gone but not forgotten then Joshua'a name and birthday then Pristina and her birthay then the last baby Lamont and I didn't get to pick a name cause we lost him or her so soon so in turn we named him or her Angel Baby and i also added his or her birthday and it's on my leg and ankle
Mom said I'm crazy for my tatoos but that how I deal with the pain of my loss and it's an outward expression of my 3 babies no one ever gets to see I Love them and want to show them to the world

Mama Luvs Baby said...

My heart aches for you both. I'm not sure what God has in store for either of you. I pray that you find peace and comfort and that God will show you His way. When we were trying to conceive at the end of 2007, it wasn't happening. I think we were just so stressed out with the purchase of our home, I got a new job, we just came back from either his deployment and my travels, we were planning our bigger wedding, and just a whole lot of other stuff.. i think with all that, we just had a really hard time getting pregnant. We got pregnant after he had left from training for 2 months, and we weren't even thinking about getting pregnant at that time.. we just missed each other a lot. But I know how disappointed I was when we were trying to get pregnant.. My thoughts are with you both, and I pray that you will one day have your Angel Baby.. Take care and God's blessings to you always.